it's so weird that it's almost summer again .. just about three more school days after today. what's really weird though, is that i'm making all the mistakes right now that i made lastyear. well sort of. i'm just really scared of losing you . i don't really know how i would ever get over that. i mean, this time lastyear i was as miserable as it got. i think it had gotten worse as summer progressed, but mostly, i'd never felt so awful in my entire life. i cried so much all the time... and i thought by now that i'd have you back.. and i don't. because you won't make me a priority. everything has more of an importance to you than i do. and it sucks. i mean, whyyyy do you give a damn what your mom and your friends think? i suppose they'e alright people, some more alright than others. but seriously. when it comes to love, you aren't supposed to care. that's why i'm no longer sacrificing things for you. i was going to give up my dream for you. the thing i've wanted for as long as i can remember. i was going to just never pursue because it. at the end of the day, i wanted your love. not to be on the cover of some magazine, or traveling to new places. but when i think about it, you've never sacrificed anything at all for me. and i've never asked you to. and i really don't want you to now. it'd just be nice if you at least came off like you would. thinking about you doesn't make me really happy like it used to. all i can think about is how miserable you made me for ten or so months, and how you won't make me a priority. i'm not your first, second or third one. do you have any idea how crummy that makes me feel? ... i really don't know what's going to happen with us. i have so much on my mind that would make you angry, but you're going to have to hear it all at some point. i'm not really sure that if you leave forever, if i can handle that. but i'm trying to be stronger. if it comes to that, to move on is to grow ...

Sadly ,

I haven't really blogged since summer started.
The irony is ,
Well very obvious.
I had a few posts but I deleted them.

Anyyyyways ,
Sometimes I wish that scientist dude would have been right
Summer is not as fun as it was last year
But on the other hand ,
I need time to throw an "end of the world party"
Beforeeeee it ends. Ya know ?

So , I wonder how people spend their summers
Like in other states & in foreign countries.

Next summer will hopefully include a roadtrip or two :)

where are the zombies yo ?

Scientist dude , or whomever you are -
The world is sadly not ending today.
It's sunnier than it's been in awhile.
The birds are chirping.
And OH YEA ,
I don't see one single zombie.

When I'm still alive tomorrow ,
You gots some splainin to do (;

But ima enjoy this sun ,
While you prob need to spend your time more productively.
Yea ?
Yeaaaa.

-<3.

I stole your heart.

all those months ago.
you can't ever have it back.
i gave you mine and it's yours to keep <3
and vice versa darling c:

summer means starting over.
well sort of.
but I'll take that time ,
to try and make you mineeeee.
AGAIN
AND
FOREVER.
because that's how it should be.

-so that's how I shall make it.
i am no God ,
im simply a believer of love.

throw some glitter , make it rainnnn.

Helen emailed me some of my photos
And they're better than I thought :)

I can't wait to see the rest.

I've been reading up on tips & such
And I'm SO determined <3.


-I'm headed places.

They won't stop me now (;

My photoshoot went wellllll with miss Helen Pajevski.
Just well. -__-
while I had some amazing photos ,
I still need practice with facials & posing.

But I'm MORE than determined. :)

-I'll get there. To the top.

JUST WATCH c:

I can almost taste it.

Lazy mornings.
Sunny days.
Intense afternoons.
Endless nights.

Ya dig ? (;


It'll be a dream come true.
I've been waiting for so long.

NEW.
love
adventures
photography
friendships
music

New , me (:

It's almost here.
Say your prayers , and sing your adtr.

This is a wonderful summer already.

My freedom is six short months away.
Oh how I pray.

All the possibilities ,
I'm already singing along with Jeremy c: